Fake? Real? Who cares. Though I'm pretty sure a woman wouldn't ever bounce a melon of her chest.
Thanks to the king of American soccer blogs for the find.
October 30, 2007
Old Dutch boys quitting

If you want to see an angry Stam from back in the day, watch this.
But he isn't the only Dutchman making retirement news.
Goalkeeper and Dutch captain Edwin van der Sar says Euro 2008 will be his last tournament with the men in Orange.
The 37-year-old 'keeper has made 121 appearances with the national team since 1995, making him the most capped Dutch national ever.
See you in Brazil in 2014!

The S. American soccer-producing factory of a country will host the 2014 World Cup.
Soccer. Beaches.
Is that a LINK in your pocket...? (link dump)

"Fatboy" Rooney gets a hilarious birthday gift. [Sports By Brooks]
We give England football. They give us football? [90 Minutes]
Soccer fans will pay lotsa $$$ for license plates. [With Leather]
Coach moons youth girls team. No more explanation needed. [The Offside]
Antisemitism in the beautiful game is still rampant. [Sanford's Soccer Net]
Eric Wynalda explains the "looks like California" incident. [Soccer By Ives]
Soccer quote o' the day! [Soccer Source]
Brazil (who else?) the favorite to win the FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup. [AP]
Freddy Adu scores game-winner
Yeah, this guy was a total MLS flop. Every one of his coaches over here should be ashamed of themselves.
The youngster scored his second goal in eight days to propel Benfica to second in the league standings.
Oh yeah, it was in the 87th minute.
And his team was short-handed.
And he had only been on the field for six minutes.
Bam.
October 28, 2007
BORING..........

Three goals.
An ignorant announcer.
Not the most exciting first-round of the MLS playoffs, it seems.
It's gonna make soccer a harder sell in this country.
As if it weren't hard enough.
Thanks a lot boys.
Yawn.
October 26, 2007
VIDEO: Cheeky Getafe game-winner
It takes big ones to try a heel-flick shot in a 1-1 game. Especially in the UEFA Cup.
Les Miles who?
Thanks to John B. for the inspiration and 101 Great Goals with the find.
Short funny and some links
I love this clip, credit Who Ate All the Pies again. It's pretty much the single greatest blog ever.
It's a Dutch prankster who found a universal remote to turn off the big game in public places.
Here are some links...
- More sketchy Euro soccer news. [100 Percent Injury Rate]
- We give England a taste of the NFL. So we get some Premiership action? [ESPN]
- A great story about the Cal women's 'keeper (she's from Washington, btw) that has been diagnosed with cancer. She's just 18 years old. [Associated Press]
Eric Wynalda is not smart
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But Eric Wynalda (right) comparing flares in the stands of the MLS playoff game last night to the wildfires in California is unforgivable.
The flames consumed 765 square miles, that's three-times the size of Rhode Island. There were 1,000s of evacuees and over $1 billion in damage.
As judge and jury, I say ESPN should ban Wynalda from all remaining first-round playoffs games.
Book it.
VIDEO: Redemption
Thanks to Who Ate All the Pies for revisiting this classic Ruud moment.
Spotted over at FanHouse. I forgive them for spelling it "Rudd."
October 25, 2007
Soccer mom goes WWE on coach

This isn't Wrestlemania. This is soccer.
And they say people don't care about the beautiful game in this country. American soccer hooliganism is alive and well thanks to enraged parents.
Cops said Alicia Vigil, 33, confronted the 68-year-old coach after her daughter's game at Sewanhaka HS in Elmont because she wasn't provided directions to the youth-club game via e-mail and had to get them from other parents.Another crisis that could've been averted with MapQuest.
The coach, who gets paid exactly $0, suffered a busted lip and cut cheek. But Vigil didn't stop there, she then keyed the old guy's car.
The crazed mom was arrested without incident, but don't be fooled into a false sense of security. According to another coach in the area, the threat level is a steady 'orange.'
"You get one of these parents on every team."Lock your doors everyone.
Beckham manliest man of the year!

I'm not if this is because he so valiantly played through pain to please the American people, or because his tears cure cancer...
So be it. Live on manly Becks.
(Credit With Leather with the find)
VIDEO: Rooney punishes poor guys
They asked for it. I could watch this "Put It Where You Want It" Tour all day.
I'm buying Season 1 on DVD as soon as it comes out.
Liverpool sucks (UCL update)

Here's a quick catch-me-up...
- Liverpool has 1 point after three games. Terrible.
- The three other English clubs (Man. U, Arsenal, Chelsea) are a combined 8-0-1.
- Some Norwegian team is currently second in Group B.
- DMB are his Rangers boys held Barcelona to a draw and are tied with the Spanish club atop Group E.
- Slavia Prague lost 7-0. They should withdraw.
Drogba first futbol-to-football star

Martin Johnson (England's rugby team captain): I could totally start, nay kickass, for the Dolphins.
Drogba: Word.
VIDEO: Swiss make it rain... FIRE!
Skip to the 2:30 if you wanna catch the good stuff.
This is in Switzerland mind you. They're neutral over there.
Seen over at Pitch Invasion.
This is in Switzerland mind you. They're neutral over there.
Seen over at Pitch Invasion.
Brazil to get World Cup 2014?

He's awesome and I want his job.
So I'll see all of you on the beaches of Rio in seven years!
(Is this picture to the right a shirt? Or a pillow? Or the sails of an war galleon?)
New FIFA World Rankings!!!

Listed by ranking, prev. ranking, country and points.
1 (2), Argentina 1533 points; 2 (3), Brazil 1459; 3 (1), Italy 1387; 4 (6), France 1272; 5 (4), Germany 1245; 6 (7), Spain 1226; 7 (5), Netherlands 1207; 8 (8), Portugal 1203; 9 (11), Czech Republic 1174; 10 (10), Croatia 1155; 11 (9), England 1137; 12 (12), Romania 1086; 13 (14), Scotland 1049; 14 (15), Greece 1034; 15 (13), Mexico 978; 16 (26), Russia 960; 17 (19), Uruguay 900; 18 (18), U.S.A. 886; 19 (23), Nigeria 841, 20 (16), Poland 837.
VIDEO: Soccer ball KOs boy
Notice how no one rushes to this kids aid. Maybe it's because he's six inches taller and 30 pounds bigger than the rest of the kids...
First seen over at Our Book of Scrap.
3...2...1...LINKS!!!

2. Tom Cruise to David Beckham's rescue
3. Can you really blame the Brazilians for partying and being so awesome? [FanHouse]
4. Robot soccer goodness. [Lion in Oil]
5. No! My home-slice Kasey Keller tore his bicep! [Yanks Abroad]
October 23, 2007
October 22, 2007
VIDEO: Holy !@#*%
Now here's something you don't see everyday. Only in Moscow.
Thanks to Who Ate All the Pies for the find.
The cheese stands alone

No surprise here. Everyone knew he'd be canned once after the World Cup/Hope Solo fiasco.
Controversy aside, it was a horrible coaching decision. Not to mention a third-place finish by the world's No. 1 team is grounds for dismissal on its own.
Anyways, I wish Ryan well, but no one will miss him. A new start is best for all.
VIDEO: Trick free-kicks!
Watch some of the sneakiest, cheekiest, most hilarious and entertaining free kicks in the history of the beautiful game.
October 21, 2007
Soccer isn't just for the foreign, exotic
Heck, when I'm in the newsroom and talk about soccer, there's always this one guy who retorts "No soccer talk! This is the sports department!"
It's too slow, they say. It's girly, they ignorantly say. We suck at it here in the U.S., kinda true, but irrelevant.
The guys over at Soccer Source have a great response to the xenophobes and others that refuse to accept the sport.
Go check it out!
Crazy caption: Victory

"Little does Scott McDonald know, as he celebrates, an invisible soccer ball has just been kicked and is headed straight towards his face."
But I know you guys can do better than me... prove me right in the comments!
The MLS isn't failing

They are courtesy of Andy over at BigSoccer.com.
Average Attendance: 16,629 (best since 1996, the inaugural year)These figures are after 96.4 percent of the regular season.
Percent of games under 10K fans: 8.5% (by far the best ever)
Percent of games over 20K fans: 28.2% (also best ever)
It appears as though the beautiful game is on its way. Cities across the country are begging for a team and the level of play is constantly improving.
It does, however, have a long way to go. But it's a good start.
October 19, 2007
VIDEO: How good is Steven Gerrard?
Not very, according to this guy after watching the English skipper's performance against Estonia.
Credit to Who Ate All the Pies for the find.
Didier Drogba pulls a Kobe

I want out of this mess he says. I can't blame him, Chelsea's best days appear to be behind them...
Nothing can stop me from leaving now.
October 18, 2007
USMNT not Swiss cheese

The Swiss, by the way, are ranked 42nd in the world. Below Bosnia, just above Egypt.
So don't hate because I'm not busting out the
Sure, it's better to win than lose. It's even better to see improvement and the young kids contribute. Are they as reliable as a nice Swatch watch? Not yet.
While Gooch and Boca were far from the Swiss Alps in defense, I'm just glad the losing streak is over. I had flashes of Notre Dame in my mind.
Does anyone know when Taylor Twellman is going to be cut? You're about as dangerous as a Swiss army knife.
Can we trade him for Roger Federer? We'll throw in Brady Quinn...
Anyways, back to
Doping, Beckham and Barca boys (news update)
Totti doping charges dropped
Who knew?
No details were really given, besides the fact that the Italian was late for a routine drug test in May.
Eto'o, Toure urged not to play in Africa
Barcelona is asking its oft-injured stars to skip the African Nations Cup, just 'cause.
Samuel Eto'o (Cameron) and Yaya Toure (Ivory Coast) would serve their countries in the tournament in late January and early February.
Here's what Barca sports director Txiki Begiristain told Spanish radio station RAC1:
Beckham is back!
The anonymous star is healthy and available. He might play this week as a substitute.
So does that mean BeckhamMania is back? Or has that ship past?
Galaxy coach Frank Yallop has said he won't mess with the starting lineup. Winning five straight and getting back in the playoff picture will do that.
Maybe the team is better, dare we say it, without him?
How much of a disaster would that be?

No details were really given, besides the fact that the Italian was late for a routine drug test in May.
His second child Chanel was born on this date, which may be a reason why he was late for the test.Yeah no kidding. I guess soccer avoids this juicing scandal.
Eto'o, Toure urged not to play in Africa
Barcelona is asking its oft-injured stars to skip the African Nations Cup, just 'cause.
Samuel Eto'o (Cameron) and Yaya Toure (Ivory Coast) would serve their countries in the tournament in late January and early February.
Here's what Barca sports director Txiki Begiristain told Spanish radio station RAC1:
Ronaldinho did not go to the Copa America and it was a brave decision. But I understand how important they are for their countries.Yeah, Txiki. We'll see.
Beckham is back!

So does that mean BeckhamMania is back? Or has that ship past?
Galaxy coach Frank Yallop has said he won't mess with the starting lineup. Winning five straight and getting back in the playoff picture will do that.
Maybe the team is better, dare we say it, without him?
How much of a disaster would that be?
October 17, 2007
VIDEO: Why it's called Joga Bonito
Watch Robinho's magic to set up this Brazil goal against Ecuador in a World Cup qualifier.
Then watch some showboating...
What is Thierry Henry up to?

Over at Deuce of Davenport, I found out Thierry Henry's ex-wfe is lawyering up and demanding 10 million pounds for the split.
That's a bit o' change.
Undeterred, the French international became his country's leading scorer, netting both goals in a 2-0 Euro Cup qualifying win over Lithuania.
Henry 43. Michael Platini 41.
But, of course, what would an international soccer star be without some MLS rumors.
Over at SBI, Ives finds an interview where Henry admits a love for America, especially New York.
Which means he's destined to be a Red Bull, obviously.
It's a wild life, but somebody's got to do it.
VIDEO: A load of bull
Credit to The Offside for another wonderful find.
Stuff like this is why Bob and crew are the best.
Uh oh...

A 2-1 loss to Russia makes things interesting for England's Euro Cup qualifying...
Though Rooney's goal was incredible, and his foul was outside the box.
October 15, 2007
Soccer in Africa, Asia can get crazy

Trouble erupted after Togo's winning goal when Police fired tear gas on enraged fans who ran onto the field.The game was stopped and the visitors were given the win.
If the results is confirmed by CAF, Mali will be eliminated from the World Cup. They were in last place in their group, but did draw 70,000 fans.
The fans were even chanting "Give us Frederic Kanoute and Mamadou Bakayoko. We're going to kill them!"
Kanoute was actually injured in the fracas.
This comes just days after five fans were killed in Tehran, after a stampede following a 2-1 Iran win over Japan.
It's a scary world.
Euro Cup qualifying standings

Group A
1, Poland 24
2, Portugal 20
3, Finland 20
Group B
1, Scotland 24

3, France 22
Group C
1, Greece 22
2, Turkey 18
3, Norway 17
Group D
1, Germany 23
2, Czech Republic 20
3, Ireland 15
Group E
1, Croatia 26

3, Russia 18
Group F
1, Sweden 22
2, Spain 22
3, Northern Ireland 16
Group G
1, Romania 23
2, Netherlands 20
3, Bulgaria 18
I cursed Kevin Forrest
Sadly, I wrote about how awesome he is at the beginning of the year -- it also hinted that he might a little injury-prone.
But no excuses. Move aside Madden, or SI... I am the new curse.
I once wrote about this high school soccer phenom. After that his team, which was thought to be one of the best in the area, missed the state playoffs.
Anyways, because I feel bad, I've give you guys some more links...
- A hilarious, yet informative, FIFA '08 review. [That's on Point]
- Soccer-fueled racism from 1901??? [ThroughBall.com]
- Juan Roman Riquelme is unstoppable. Two free-kick goals! [Sanford's Soccer Net]
- How you get an MLS team... the people! [RizzoSports Blog]
- MLS and hooliganism? [Soccer Source]
VIDEO: Embarrassing own goal
What's worse is he broke his nose in the process.
I won't say his name to keep his reputation in tact.Chris Brass
Thanks to Football Corner for the find.
VIDEO: The greatest goal ever

It was heavenly.
Here are some grand hypotheticals in order sports that I equate this goal to...
- BASEBALL - A walk-off grand slam off a suicide squeeze bunt resulting in a bench-clearing brawl involving Don Zimmer.
- FOOTBALL - A 99-yard Hail Mary hook-and-ladder, with three Gatorade showers and a Chad Johnson celebration in the snow.
- HOCKEY - A beer-induced slugfest, ending in a Zamboni race and a guest appearance from Anna Kournikova and the Mighty Ducks.
- NASCAR - A beer-induced 30-car pile-up that results in 200 instant replays, a shake and bake, and everyone beating the crap out of Tony Stewart.
So here it is...
Joga bonita ugh...

Apparently the two best players in the world aren't good enough to lead the best soccer-playing nation to victory.
With Kaka and Ronaldinho (above, albeit happy) in action, Brazil manages just a 0-0 draw with Colombia in World Cup qualifying.
This guy in Rio is not happy.
October 13, 2007
VIDEO: Stupid, stupid 'keeper
Gets ejected for being so stupid...
Credit 101 Great Goals with the find.
October 11, 2007
VOTE: Instant replay and the beautiful game

For some sports, replay is good (football, tennis), for others it's bad (baseball), for a couple it's absolutely essential (NASCAR, horse-racing).
But what about soccer?
Here's what the UEFA president, Michel Platini, thinks.
Video referees would destroy football.Sounds simple enough.
But some would argue that replays could confirm goals and determine just rulings for actions unseen by the referees.
Maybe we need more refs (easier said than done). Maybe we need robots.
But like a true democracy, I leave it to the people to decide.
U.S. youngsters on roster vs. Sweden

Actually, I'm lying. I'm very excited about the chance to see Freddy at the highest level. But this young midfielder up in Toronto isn't bad either.
If you haven't seen to the roster, go check it out.
Here are my thoughts:
- Robbie Findley could be very good. I got to see him and GK Tally Hall in college.
- I'm glad Marcus Hahnemann is there. This is a chance to raise his stock.
- I like how most of the names are recognizable young talents.
- My starting XI: Hahnemann, Cherundolo, Bocanegra, Onyewu, Pearce, Beasley, Bradley, Edu, Lewis, Adu, Dempsey.
I love the smell of LINKS in the morning...

As always, you can send your stuff to jmayers@u.washington.edu. Thanks to Our Book of Scrap for the pic.
Get your own personal Brazilian soccer name!!! [Footie Fool]
RSL's Jack Stewart is one of Cosmo's most eligible bachelor. And unemployed? [Soccer By Ives]
Another great story from a great blog. Edgar Davids is back! [This is American Soccer]
Uruguay soccer tickets too expensive. Make Diego Forlan pay. [Lion In Oil]
Hope Solo is back. So is Scurry... So is Greg Ryan??? [FanHouse]
UEFA got punishments right in Dida fiasco. [Soccer Source]
A collection of entertaining news and notes. [Center Holds It]
The free kick is good. The picture is better. [Sanford's Soccer Net]
Hair-pulling Mexicans. Only in soccer. [ESPN]
Zygi Wilf wants a soccer team? [St. Paul Pioneer Press]
Breaking news from Bobby Boswell!
He, and soccer fans everywhere, are stoked that the Nationals (by the way, baseball sucks) are leaving the stadium, making it possible to put some beautiful grass in the born-again venue.
Also, Boswell spells a certain Mexican forward's first name Cuatehcemacmonecmoc.
Classic.
LanDo is America's best

These are men, America's best"
- Bill Murray, Caddyshack
Donovan won his fourth Honda Award as U.S.A.'s top soccer stud. But the question is...
Did he win by default? Or was he legitimately enough to win?
I'll say both. He had a great start to the year, and a dominant performance against Mexico in the Gold Cup final is often overlooked. But no one else was good enough to win.
October 10, 2007
German-Iranian hates Israel? What?!?

Ashkan Dejagah, a player on the German national team, has refused to play in Israel for a European Under-21 Championship qualifier.
Germans aren't happy
But Dejagah's mind is made up.
"I have more Iranian than German blood in my veins. I am doing it out of respect. After all, my parents are Iranian," the 21-year-old midfielder told the Berlin daily tabloid B.Z.Now I'm not going to make a blanket statement about Iranians, but the poster above is advertised in the streets of Tehran and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has publicly questioned the existence of the Holocaust.
Get this, he doesn't recognize Israel as a country, but still wants it "wiped off the map." Wouldn't Israel not be on one of his "special" maps in the first place? $20 to whoever can figure that out.
Sounds like a fun place.
Anyways, the German coach has accepted Dejagah's personal decision.

- Bayern Munich striker Vahid Hashemian missed a Champions League match in Israel. He said he had a back injury, but I think it's 'cause the Iranian sports federation warned him about consequences for attending.
- In the last summer Olympics, Iranian judo guy said he was too "overweight" to bout an Israeli. He wasn't.
- At the 2001 judo world championships -- a fun time for the whole family! -- another Iranian said "no dice."
October 9, 2007
Paid leave of absence...

It's about a 72 year old coach, Mike Ryan. He's an Irish immigrant that coached the U.S. women's national team, Washington's mens team and countless others.
Wearing a wide smile, the first-year coach dribbles down the field during Nathan Hale High School's girls soccer scrimmage. The ball clings to Mike Ryan's cleats like wet grass clippings as he slips by a player and makes a crisp pass.
The girls marvel at his footwork and agility.
Hard to believe he's 72 years old.
"He's got the energy of a 5-year-old," said Raiders freshman Kelsey Radwick.
Ryan's passion for soccer helps him ignore his aching joints and stiff back for a couple of hours a day."It's not just a sport, it's a way of life," says Ryan, the lilt of his native Ireland in his voice. "It's a love of life."
For more than six decades, Ryan has made soccer his life. His love for the game spans two countries, an ocean, a continent, countless teams and thousands of players.
In Ryan, Seattle has its own soccer legend.
He was the first head coach of the U.S. women's national team. He helped build the University of Washington men's soccer program and coached the Huskies to four NCAA tournament appearances. He has been a certified professor of soccer for over 30 years.
Oh, and the old, bald guy still has the touch with the ball at his feet.
"I'll always have the touch," says Ryan with a laugh.
October 5, 2007
VIDEO: Florent Malouda nearly kills a man
But his deadly accuracy came through in the end. Look at how excited they both are, especially the guy who's happy to be alive.
Thanks to Who Ate All the Pies for this one.
Ronaldo will always be beautiful

So say the man himself after taking an elbow to the face.
"I don't want to stay looking like this, but it will only be four of five days and I will be beautiful once again!"The pretty boy is also in the news for a controversy involving an autobiography (yeah, like I've never heard of that before...).
The first reports claimed the Roma players begged for mercy in last year's 7-1 thrashing. He denies it now.
Huh, interesting.
Credit With Leather for the find here.
Soccer nets are dangerous

In the wake of soccer riots and unruly moms, you now have to worry about being hanged by a soccer net.
You might think I'm joking, but an 18-month-old kid in Texas isn't laughing. (The video in the story isn't a video of the kid, that'd be horrible)
The safety commission has warned that movable soccer goals can fall over and kill or injure children. It recommends anchoring soccer goals and removing the net when the goals aren't in use.At this moment, I'd like to remind you to be careful around the netting of the soccer goal in your backyard.
And if you have any safety concerns or questions regarding: pools and spas, magnets, furniture, cords, recalls, bathrooms/kitchens or cribs, please refer to the article.
Clark banned nine games!

Anyways, Clark is banned for nine games and has to pay $10,000. That's no small fee for poor MLS kids.
The suspension is the longest in league history. Yikes.
Champions League update!

Here's a quickhit update! (highlights thanks to 101 Great Goals):
- Chelsea can't beat
some nonsense teamRosenborg, but beats Valencia 2-1. - Marseilles beat Liverpool 1-0 on a cheeky strike by Mathieu Valbuena.
- A Ruud double can't save Real Madrid, they tie Lazio 2-2.
- The defending champion AC Milan loses to Celtic! Wow! 2-1 on a last second goal by Scott McDonald.
About that Celtic game. Apparently some crazed fan rushed onto the field and gave Dida a love tap. The Brazilian chased after him in pursuit for five yards than crumpled to the ground. Watch below...
The Celtic fan was banned for life.
UPDATED STANDINGS!
Group A
1, Marseille (6); 2, FC Porto (4); 3, Liverpool (1); 4, Besiktas (0).
Group B
1, Chelsea (4); 2, Valencia (3); 3, Schalke 04 (3); 4, Rosenborg (1).
Group C
1, Olympiacos (4); 2, Real Madrid (4); 3, Lazio (2); 4, Werder Bremen (0).
Group D
1, Shakhtar Donetsk (6); 2, Celtic (3); 3, AC Milan (3); 4, Benfica (0).
Group E
1, Barcelona (6); 2, Rangers (6); 3, Stuttgart (0); 4, Lyon (0).
Group F
1, Manchester Utd. (6); 2, AS Roma (3); 3, Sporting Lisbon (3); 4, Dynamo Kiev (0).
Group G
1, Fenerbahce (4); 2, Inter Milan (3); 3, PSV Eindhoven (3); 4, CSKA Moscow (1).
Group H
1, Arsenal (6); 2, Sevilla (3); 3, Slavia Prague (3); 4, Steaua Bucuresti (0).
VIDEO: Ref scores game's lone goal
Sadly, as The Offside points out, Turkish club Besiktas lost the game 1-0 and the league championship by only one point.
Revs win Open Cup and other news you don't care about

Here's some other news
- D.C. United lost to Chivas in the Copa Sudamericana.
- John Terry looks funny thanks to Deuce.
- The MLS is too good for Jared Borgetti?
- But good enough for Del Piero?
October 4, 2007
Livin' the dream

Here's a shout-out to my boys Josh M., Tyler K. and Paul E., who are exploring South America. Lucky bastards.
This picture was taken in Brazil (where else?).
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