This spring, before the boys high-school soccer season begins, coaches in Utah are required to hold mandatory sportsmanship meetings with players and parents.The effect is hilarious, the cause even more so.
Last year, high school boys soccer was put on probation by the Utah High School Activities Association due to "too much poor sportsmanship, foul language and ejections."
In 2007, the article states, there were 111 ejections. My god.
Soccer hooliganism in America, it seems, trying to birth in the Beehive State. That's right, beehives.
Anyways, here are some of the teams that I think need mandatory sportsmanship meetings:
- The 2007-08 New England Patriots -- "We will not beat everyone so bad the season becomes super uncool."
- The 1999 U.S. Ryder Cup team (right) -- "We will not shove it in the Euros faces after miraculously seizing victory from the jaws of defeat."
- The New York Knicks -- "We will give at least 65% effort every night."
- Ohio State football -- "We promise to schedule at least two semi-formidable out of conference opponents due to the dreadful Big Ten."
- Memphis basketball -- "We will keep 1/8 of our conference games close, so we don't seem like a huge bully."
- Roger Federer -- "I will let the field win fight over the French Open, I'll take the other three."
- Tiger Woods -- "I won't win every tournament. Just most of them. And have the hottest wife.
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3 comments:
Most Mormons do not like caffeine, condoms or conflict. Nice Find.
Great post...Mac G hit the nail right on the head. Mormons are amazingly passive-aggressive. I grew up in Utah and in my high school at least most of the soccer team was non-Mormon. I guess I now know the reason--the Mormon kids couldn't keep up with all of the swearing and bad sportsmanship :-)
Firstly not all people in Utah are Mormons so please stop being so stereotypical of the ignorant out there. It only makes you look a bigger idiot than you already are.
Secondly I agree though that the UHSAA really are blind. Try going to a game in England (Where I played and coached at semi-pro level for over 14 years) then come back and say the sport is violent in Utah, A day has not gone by in my playing days when a fan has not hurled abuse, critism or the like at me and my team mates and thats from our own fans when we did bad so you can only guess at the problem from the opposing fans. Heaven forbid they give a red card for a accidental mis-timed tackle, they may give him a lifelong ban. yellow may result in 10 years suspension and I'd hate to see what spitting on the grass will do.
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