VIDEO: Doesn't look good

Also doesn't look 100% authentic, but Dirty Tackle thinks it might be.

True love story LINKS

Pies gives an illustrated and detailed look at the loving relationship between Chelsea stars John Terry and Frank Lampard.

So good.

Take a look.

Now the links:

• Adu back at Benfica, looking for answers. [Goal.com]
  
• Footballers and Sex and the City? [Kickette]
  
• Red Bulls waive Khano Smith. [Soccer By Ives]
  
• Japan's Millwall: Urawa: [Unprofessional Foul]
  
• Is N.Y. mathematically eliminated? [Goff]
  
• Hilarious look-a-like? [Sanford's Soccer Net]
  
• Spurs, Crouch remind you of someone? [Soccer Source]
  
• England U19s in Euro finals. [ESPN].

VIDEO: Bayern Munich coach storms out

I heard this was a press conference after a 4-1 win against AC Milan.

All it took was one dumb question about Luca Toni. Bayern beat reporters, I feel for you...

Hope Solo had a birthday

I can't believe I missed it.

Neither can she.

One day late.

Oh well.

HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY 'KEEP!

Light on the transfers

Not a lot on the menu this time:

• Xabi Alonso puts in a transfer request. Not good Liverpool. The Big Four is just bleeding stars these days.
  
• Could Patrick Vieira be heading back to Arsenal?
  
• Galatasaray snaps up City's Elano.
  
• Mascherano is still aching for a Barca move.
  
• Marseilles gets Madrid castoff Heinze.
  
• Zola is trying to get Inter phenom Mario Balotelli at West Ham.

Another day, more Madrid/City news.

Fulham-ilates...

Danny Murphy says the EPL is turning to a new conditioning regimen: pilates.

Oh wait, I guess that's supposed to be capitalized: Pilates.

"It's core work, balancing. Working on making the midriff strong. The lads are getting into it now.

Murphy didn't mention what the team is doing with their growing vaginas.

I kid, I kid...

VIDEO: How bizarre

Off the Post claims this is another bout in the City-United feud.

So I'm all for it.

Beckham to be on his best behavior

Time to ignore the critics he says. No more fight inciting or fake shaking-hands.

"I know I have to behave,” Beckham said. “At the end of the day, there's going to be occasions where you take situations into your hands when maybe you should or maybe you shouldn't."

Sounds like he's still on the fence to me.

Though fighting American fans could go a long way into bringing more attention to the sport in this country.

Young Chelsea sucks up to the boss

Franco Di Santo, your nose is turning very brown.

You really expect anyone to believe this outlandish tale you told the media about Blues billionaire owner Roman Abramovich?

Take a look:

Di Santo recalls a story that has passed into mythology about Abramovich choosing to buy Chelsea after eyeing the stadium from his helicopter.

“That is what they say,” joked Di Santo. “He also wanted to buy other things, but they belonged to the Queen.”

Di Santo says Abramovich hardly has the look of one of the world’s richest men.

“He is quite humble,” Di Santo told Argentine newspaper Ole. “You see him with a plastic watch, in a sweater and ordinary shoes. He told me to speak more English, but he doesn’t speak much, so between us we are in trouble.”

He probably won a $1 billion bet to wear that plastic watch.

And you probably know he could ship you to Siberia and not think twice about it. So way to play it smart, you suck up!

Romanian club owner is bad news

Stay away from CFR Cluj owner Arpad Paszkany.

Recently he was charged with blackmail and supporting a criminal group.

And he "financed the media group Gazeta from 2004 to 2006 to promote his business interests and compromise rival companies."

Those media groups pretty much trashed whoever he wanted. And blackmailed some companies.

Sounds like great television.

VIDEO: Mark Hughes (not really) calls JT

The Manchester City boss (impersonator) makes one last -- very public and hilarious -- plea for John Terry.

Bayern Munich wins Audi Cup

The German club had to beat Manchester United via penalty shootout to earn the win. It was actually a pretty exciting tiebreaker after a scoreless regulation.

The shot of Nani is one you have to see.

Take a look at the highlights:



Boca Juniors settled for third place. Also via penalty shootout after regulation against AC Milan ended 1-1.

Here's the clip from that game:



As a bonus that only 101 Great Goals can provide, here are highlights from the performance of Oguchi Onyewu, who had a remarkably save in there:

Old Ronaldo and the liposuction

What a great story found by The Spoiler. Since then I've seen something on SI.com also.

Rumor has it the old Brazilian had a bit of liposuction recently. It made perfect sense to couple the surgery with the procedure to fix his broken hand.

Of course, the lipo had to remain under-wraps.

Ronaldo is not speaking, and his club Corinthians is neither confirming nor denying that the striker had the surgery while he hospitalized to repair a broken hand.

Several local media are reporting, based on unnamed sources, that doctors removed 70 centimeters of fat from Ronaldo's waist on Wednesday.

There's a lot of smoke around this incident (non-denial denials, a fake name, a long-existing desire to lose weight), so there has to be a fire.

Good times, check out the lengthy reports.

Freddie Ljungberg recovering

He's back in Seattle after the crazy migraine attack that blindsided him after/during the MLS all-star game Wednesday night.

Word is it's not as serious as the attack that sidelined the Swede for a couple games earlier in the season.

If ever there was a game to be suspended for a red card, it's the same game (Sunday at San Jose) that you're recovering from freaky massive headaches.

Hopefully he recovers quick-like...

VIDEO: Old funnies

I posted these videos within my first couple months of starting this blog.

1. Don't kiss the ref


2. I pity the diver

Secret documents LINKS

Word is some unpublished and unseen documents regarding the Hillsborough tragedy of 1989 are going to be released.

Not sure what will come of it.

Could be interesting.

To the links:

• Villa coach thinks City can win EPL. [FourFourTwo]
  
• Vuvuzelas: no mas. [Unprofessional Foul]
  
• Hargreaves comeback in doubt. [BBC]
  
• Hilarious quotes o' the week. [Sanford's Soccer Net]
  
• USSF prez defends Gold Cup 'C' team. [Goal.com]
  
• Croatia recalls Arsenal's Eduardo. [SI]
  
• Gold Cup all-tournament team? [SBI]
  
• Top XI criers on the pitch? [Pies]
  
• Ronaldo has surgery on hand. [Yahoo!]
  
• Celtic's UCL qualifying off to bad start. [Guardian]
  
• Not the case for Olympiakos. [ESPN]
  
• A veteran retires: Juan Pablo Sorin. [USA Today]

VIDEO: Juve holding hands in a circle

New training technique? Or team-bonding moment?

We'll never know.

Bayern pizza delivery

Is that where they send the castoffs?

The club president hates Franck Ribery (left) and the team sent Luca Toni (right) to the reserves. Can't be a good sign.

Transfer all-stars

We'll start with a EPL member that beat the MLS select team last night:

• Everton snubs City's bid for Joleon Lescott.
  
• A price for Ribery is set, again.
  
• Hleb to snub Inter Milan for Stuttgart?
  
• Would Mourinho counter with another pitch for Deco?
  
• Kolo Toure unveiled at City.
  
• Real Madrid about to bad Xabi Alonso?
  
• Elano interest abound in Milan.
  
• Gunners gonna lose Eboue too?

It's never uninteresting, that's for sure...

Friedel still going strong

The 38-year-old American is not ready to retire.

Brad Friedel has been a stalwart for Aston Villa in the Premiership and is hoping to play a couple more seasons.

"I haven't set a target for retirement - until I can't play any more or someone tells me I can't play any more," he said.

"I'll keep myself as fit as I can and if selected I'll keep going."

If he continues to keep himself in great shape, then god bless him...

VIDEO: First goals for United stars

Though it admittedly took one (Anderson) a couple more years than the other (Valencia).

1. Anderson -- perfect free kick


2. Antonio Valencia -- bit lucky

D.C. sports scene

Clearly the Redskins are king in the nation's capital, I mean just look a Brian Orakpo (center).

But I think D.C. United has got a leg up on the Nationals. Santino Quaranta (left) is looking good and representing the sport well -- you'd never guess he used to have a drug problem.

Ryan Zimmerman (right) looks a little ridiculous -- especially from the waist down.

No Washington Wizards rep. Too bad, so sad.

Can't play today: it's raining

What it this? Baseball? Golf? Tennis?

Nope. It's the Nigerian women's national soccer team. Three coaches canceled training one day because of the rain.

They got punished promptly by the Nigeria Football Federation president Sani Lulu:

Coaches Uche Eucharia, Ann Chiejina and Monsu Abdullahi were axed when Lulu paid a surprise visit to the team's training camp in Abuja only to discover the women's national team were not training because it was drizzling at the time.

It better have been the drizzle from hell, because that team has a tournament it's preparing for.

[Hat tip to DT]

Sven Goran Eriksson gallery

The Guardian readers submitted some good stuff this week. I got to do the podium finish again.

3. Bronze medal


2. Silver medal


1. Gold medal

VIDEO: Kick the head KO

Some poor guy took a boot to the head and was knocked out. Not for the faint of heart, but certainly not the worst you'll see.

Check out Dirty Tackle for more details if you're interested.

Benfica gets a new phenom

Barcelona loaned out its new Brazilian stud Keirrison on a one-year deal to the Portuguese side.

Just another thing that can't be good for Freddy Adu...

[pic thanks to Futbolita]

Mexico names team for U.S. qualifier

Holy crap, the talent. Heck, even in the Gold Cup they brought a dude from Arsenal off the bench:

Goalkeepers: Guillermo Ochoa (America), Jose de Jesus Corona (Cruz Azul).

Defenders: Efrain Juarez (Pumas), Jose Antonio Castro (Tigres), Ricardo Osorio (Stuttgart), Carlos Salcido (PSV Eindhoven), Oscar Rojas (America), Rafael Marquez (Barcelona), Jonny Magallon (Chivas), Aaron Galindo (Chivas).

Midfielders: Israel Castro (Pumas), Gerardo Torrado (Cruz Azul), Cuautemoc Blanco (Chicago Fire), Andres Guardado (Deportivo La Coruna), Alberto Medina (Chivas).

Forwards: Miguel Sabah (Morelia), Giovani Dos Santos (Tottenham), Carlos Vela (Arsenal), Guillermo Franco (no team), Nery Castillo (Shakhtar Donetsk).

Coming out of Azteca with a point, let alone three, is looking to be a tough task...

Howard is too good (MLS All-Star Game)

So good he has to console Freddie Ljungberg after stopping the Swede's feeble PK attempt.

It was the third save in the shootout for Tim Howard (aka The Boss), who also had six saves in regulation in an MVP-winning performance.

Everton was the first and only international club to beat the MLS All-Stars, who came into the game 5-0 in these kind of games.

It was cool to see Seattle boast three starters and four players. Kasey Keller was particularly a treat -- having to come back into the game after being subbed off due to an injury.

The ol' American and mentor to Howard had a decent showing in the shootout also.

The MLS select side was the better team throughout the game, but exhibited some atrocious finishing despite outshooting the EPL team 21-11.

Blame Landon Donovan in particular, who received a great pass from Ljungberg in the second half and missed a wide-open shot in front of the goal off the post.

In the end, the event was more entertaining than I had envisioned.

UPDATE: Ljungberg's migraine problems came back. Oh shit. Not good.

Ljungberg, who played the entire game, was carted off the field after the final kick due to a migraine headache and taken to a hospital for evaluation, according to MLS.

He missed a couple games earlier in this season to the same condition.

VIDEO: United challenge

Fergie did better than some of the paid pros!

Not a crook LINKS

More details came out in the Jermain Defoe story. Turns out he was wrongfully jailed for five hours.

His lawyer obviously made a big to-do about it. I would too, if that happened to me, and I could afford a lawyer.

Now the links:

• New Galatasaray kit. [3 Pas 1 Gol]
  
• Cheryl Cole spotting. [Kickette]
  
• Pies is back! WHOOOOOO!!! [Where else?]
  
• Gerrard's wife doesn't like the Liverpool nightclub scene. Can't imagine why. [Mirror]
  
• Top 10 Gold Cup goals. [101 Great Goals]
  
• Carlos Ruiz and the Mexican league debut. [Goal.com]
  
• ESPN to air MLS games in Britain. [Yahoo!]
  
• A great Ljungberg Q&A. [Goal! NY Times blog]
  
• Argentina league delayed to debt? [FourFourTwo]
  
• Too bad Sven didn't survive at City. [SI]
  
• Potential Newcastle deal falls though. [Guardian]
  
• Keller and the Blue Angels. [SSE]
  
• Special One still eyes United gig. [Daily Mail]
  
• Beckham lobbied for LARS fan reinstatement. [SBI]

VIDEO: Not the best week for refs

1. This guy got chased like hell


2. This guy took a hard spill

Materazzi, the high riser

Great find by Futbolita.

Watch your head...

Kill two transfers with one stone...

Milan all over the place recently:

• Word is the Italian club doesn't want any old dudes. No 30+ year old transfers.
  
• Milan also rejected a Chelsea bid for Pirlo.
  
• David Villa commits to Valencia.
  
• Check out the race for Darren Bent.
  
• Arbeloa and Real Madrid?
  
• Lyon success bid for Dani Guiza.
  
• Gio Dos Santos and Deportivo?

Not too many today.

Thierry Henry: Gunner for life

And he would certainly never tell a player to play for the hated Spurs, in this case Patrick Viera:

Barcelona's ex-Arsenal striker rapped: "I am Arsenal through and through. I'd never advise ANYONE to sign for Tottenham.

He added: "I can't have Arsenal fans thinking I am helping Tottenham in any way.

Nice.

It'll be fun to see him reunited with ex-Gunners mate Freddie Ljungberg in the Barcelona-Seattle friendly next week.

VIDEO: MLS all-star game hype

The game between the league's finest and Everton is just hours away.

Here's a preview from ESPN and another from Sports Illustrated.

And here's something I saw on Jose's blog tipping a potential lineup for the MLS.

Cowboys Stadium rules

I suggest moving all of FC Dallas' games here instead of Pizza Hut Park.

That would kick the attendance up (maybe).

Certainly that big screen should. I heard it's a $40 million TV and I'm in love with it.

MLS power rankings: week 19

Just one of my top six teams won last weekend (1-1-4). I guess just one lost too.

Chivas USA was spared its losing ways by not having a game, but unlike most rankings I've seen around, I didn't drop the Goats further.

Things stay ugly in New York. Not only do the Red Bulls have more losses than my top four teams combined -- but Juan Carlos Osorio pulled JPA from the game over the weekend.

Oh and ESPN's rankings were particularly scathing (and erased the two N.Y. wins, apparently for sucking too much):


1. (1) Houston Dynamo 9-4-5
2. (5) Columbus Crew 6-3-9
3. (2) Seattle Sounders FC 7-3-7
4. (4) Chicago Fire 7-3-7
5. (3) D.C. United 6-3-9
6. (6) L.A. Galaxy 6-3-9
7. (9) Colorado Rapids 6-5-6
8. (8) Chivas USA 8-6-3
9. (7) Toronto FC 7-6-5
10. (10) New England Revolution 5-5-5
11. (12) Real Salt Lake 5-7-5
12. (11) Kansas City Wiz 5-6-5
13. (13) F.C. Dallas 4-8-5
14. (14) San Jose 'Quakes 3-10-4
15. (15) N.Y. Red Bulls 2-14-4

More interest in Freddy Adu

Goff says some Dutch clubs might be interested.

He also says Benfica wanted him to play just one Gold Cup game so he could the team for preseason, then they left him out of camp.

Ugh.

This guy just can't buy a break...

VIDEO: First goals!

1. Ronaldo for Real Madrid (eh)


2. Diego for Juventus (awesome)

USMNT v. Mexico, W.C. qualifier notes

The game has already sold out.

And here's some information on being able to watch/listen the game in English.

Two Barca stars out of Seattle game?

The Sounders FC might have things a bit easier in next week's friendly against Champions League title-holders FC Barcelona next week.

Though fans might not be too excited to hear both Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Andres Iniesta might miss the August 5th exhibition.

The Swede has a broken hand and is certainly out with a 3-week recovery time.

The Spaniard is slowly recovering from a virus he picked and isn't expected to be fit in time.

I think it's only fair that Pep Guardiola plays Messi and Xavi the full 90...

Unveilings and a little craziness

First, Samuel Eto'o at Inter Milan.

"Ibra is a great player but I am Samuel Eto'o and my past and my victories talk for me,'' said Eto'o. "I don't like parallels being drawn. I believe the victories I have earned until now can contribute to giving my name the right value.''

Then, Zlatan Ibrahimovic at Barcelona.

"Eto'o is part of the history book of this club and he will always be a hero here," said Ibrahimovic. "I have not come to replace Eto'o – I am somebody different, somebody new, but I will try to achieve as much as Eto'o did, or even more."

Finally, a bunch of hooligans at Z's introduction.

VIDEO: The show must go on

Even when the ref goes down...

YouTube LINKS

Turns out a highlight video online helped this guy get signed by Borussia Dortmund.

How awesome is that?

Now for some less-exciting links:

• Jermain Defoe arrested on police error. [Guardian]
  
• Bayern Munich defends Ribery after Franz blast. [AFP]
  
• Schweinsteiger and the drinking contest. [Dirty Tackle]
  
• VIDEO: Zlatan gets physical. [The Original Winger]
  
• Someone who continued to impress: B. Feilhaber. [SBI]
  
• Eduardo isn't hurt and bags a nice double. [101GG]
  
• Two were killed in an Honduran riot. [The Offside]

VIDEO: Laughable losers

1. Laughable PK attempt


2. Laughable PK miss/follow-up


3. Laughable own goal rocket

American soccer notes

-- The media can't stop writing stories involving Obama and U.S. soccer.

-- The L.A. Riot Squad guy that went after Beckham had his lifetime stadium ban rescinded.

-- In the big surprise league announcement, that many thought would be Montreal getting the next MLS expansion franchise, was awarding next year's all-star game to Houston.

-- A game one writer thinks it's too easy for players to get out of...

Time to TiVo some transfers

Some more done deals today:

• Barcelona unveiled Zlatan.
  
• Eto'o signs too with Inter.
  
• Spurs and Crouch are a done deal.
  
• Bendtner commits to Gunners.
  
• Marseilles gets Morientes.
  
• Totti signs essentially a lifetime Roma deal.
  
• Everton offer snubbed by Pienaar.
  
• Arshavin defends shipping Adebayor out of Arsenal.
  
• JT denies holding out for Chelsea raise.
  
• But word is he is mad at the club.
  
• Obafemi Martins wants Wolfsburg.
  
• Livorno and Ricardo Clark is done.
  
• Huntelaar interest from AC Milan.

But more interestingly, the San Siro club website leaked a signing of Giuseppe Rossi and then took it down. Hmmmmm....

Bolivian coach/dad quits

Remember the 12 year old phenom down there? He was the youngest to ever play in a first division match in Bolivia.

Well, his dad/coach quit the other day due to the backlash he received by playing his kid -- primarily for his own team.

"Sadly, a lot of people didn't like my son's debut. I'm not going to be told whether I play someone from my family or not," Baldivieso was quoted as saying.

"The country and the world need to know that in Bolivia talented youngsters get their legs cut off, to make room for foreign players, no doubt, or because of personal grudges," he added.

The daily La Razon said: "Baldivieso was told to choose between his son and the Aurra coaching job -- he opted to be a father".

Probably didn't help that the kid was injured in a harsh tackle.

Oh well, this story was fun while it lasted...

VIDEO: Talking American soccer

1. First, some MLS thoughts in general


2. Then some Stuart Holden love


3. Then Sepp chimes in

Fans. Podolski. And the baby.

You can't take your pen out of the man's face for two seconds.

Grown men autograph seekers are the worst. I'm sure this guy boxed out a couple kids (at the least) on his way to this position...

What is Sven doing?

No one at Notts County knows. Well, maybe some do, but the players don't.

But keeper Russell Hoult admitted: "What Sven does, we don't know.

Defender Jamie Clapham said: "I don't know what his role is exactly but he's trying to acquire a training ground, things like that. It's good for the future."

Yes, the future is good.

If you believe he is 100% committed to this League Two project. I, on the other hand, think he'll jump at the real first job offered.

He won't even look back.

So the less you know about Sven Goran Eriksson, Notts County, the better...

The Beckham shake

Wear an England kit.

Insult the man's wife.

Get a handshake.

"He shouldn't actually be wearing that shirt because what he was saying about my wife was a disgrace," Beckham told reporters.

I'm not for insulting players' families.

But I would think his rabbit ears would be a bit shorter (longer? shorter is better I think) than this...

VIDEO: Try not to love these goals

1. Oh, beauty! What a volley!


2. Glorious, glorious no-look chip!


3. The type you dream about. Wow!


4. The fairest of 'em all from MLS?

Ronaldo and the broken hand

Word is he could miss up to six weeks after this new injury.

Six weeks? To an injury to a body part you can't even use?

Poor guy, that could be eight games worth.

What's even crazier is the injury itself. Take a look at this video I saw over at Dirty Tackle. Looks harmless.

Giggs and Owen, the bromance

Ryan Giggs has some awfully nice things to say about Manchester United's new forward.

He said Michael Owen could break the all-time goal-scoring record for England (he's currently nine goals behind Sir Bobby Charlton total of 49):

''He has it in him to do it,'' said the veteran Welshman. ''It has been a difficult record to overhaul because obviously it has stood for so long.

''But when you analyse Michael's career and look at the number of times he has played for England and the goals he has got, if he plays another 15 times he would probably do it.''

Trouble is, Owen hasn't gotten a sniff from the national team is a long time, particularly with Fabio Capello in charge.

But that doesn't make the new bromance any less cute...

Shaq gives Beckham a Twitter challenge

Of course, it's for his new reality TV show...

That damn self-promoter...

Though I do want to see it...

VIDEO: Buncha negativity

1. Alleged racial abuse meltdown


2. Violence in Europe League


3. Journo spitting on player?

Belated birthday LINKS

Happy Birthday Fredy Montero!

Turns 22.

I get older and the young sports phenoms get younger. Ugh.

Now the links:

• Great Beckham jersey. [The Offside Rules]
  
• Gold Cup pitch invasion. [MLS Rumors]
  
• Brazil news: Adriano scores, Ronaldo hurt. [Goal.com]
  
• Special One praises Man. City. [News of the World]
  
• Rafa Marquez set for Barca return. [SkySports]
  
• $5K fines to EPL teams? What's the point? [EPL Talk]
  
• Beckenbauer rips Ribery. Rips him hard. [StraitsTimes]
  
• 3 good, 3 bad. Still named 5 and 5. [Center Holds It]
  
• Sir Alex pegs Michael Owen for 15 goals. [DailyMail]
  
• Some Street Soccer USA tournament. [ESPN]
  
• Pato too small, wants to be 2nd forward. [Futbolita]
  
• Peruvian national team to boycott? [Jakarta Globe]
  
• Alan Shearer's Newcastle role unknown. [Guardian]
  
• Toon's ugly jersey fallout. [Dirty Tackle]
  
• Maradona commits to Argentina. [Sporting Life]
• Top 10 soccer facial hair. [Three Match Ban]
  

VIDEO: Epic free kick

From the one and only Ronaldo.

Oh wait, I meant epic fail.

Lazy friendly roundup

A couple scores from the weekend you might be interested in. In other words, I'm too lazy to come up with a regularly crappy post. So here's a lazy and crappy post.

-- Manchester United 8, some China team 2
-- Liverpool 5, some Singapore team 0
-- Celtic 2, Tottenham 0
-- Barcelona 4, some Egypt team 1
-- Bayern Munich 13, some unknown team 0
-- Sunderland 2, Atletico Madrid 0
-- Benfica 3, Ajax 2
-- River Plate 1, Everton 0
-- Some S. African team 1, Manchester City 0
-- Some French team 6, Newcastle 1
-- Some Saudi team 1, Real Madrid 1 (Ronaldo's home debut)