May 21, 2008

All the Champions League info you need!

It's a grand day for soccer fans.

(I'll get to the cracked skull soon, I promise)

The European club championship has finally arrived and it comes down to two English rivals. Like the Capulets and the Montagues. Hatfields and McCoys. Charles Barkley and bookies that Frank TV guy.

Anyways, Manchester United and Chelsea. England's two top dogs.

Should be a good one.

Now, just because I don't want you watching uninformed, I've gathered all the relevant information you need.
  • That picture at the top of the post. That's an x-ray of Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech's skull after whatshisface caught him with a knee. Kinda gruesome. Some have said they see the devil's face in the cracks, I just see a smiley.

  • Drunken, rowdy ticketless fans are gonna get stripped naked and given an ice shower. Why haven't they thought of this before?

  • Trash talk has been flying. The best of it goes to Manchester United defender Nemanja Vidic, who called Chelsea forward Didier Drogba as "weak." The Liverpool coach attacked Drogba in the press during the semis. Two goals later? Not a smart choice.

  • Ashley Cole, the idiot that cheated on Cheryl -- take a look, who would do that? -- is doubtful after suffering a horrible tackle in practice.

  • Chelsea's all pissed because some paper said its midfielder Frank Lampard has signed with Inter Milan already. Of course that paper is already dealing with a libel suit for a previous false story.

  • The field might be dangerously unsafe. People were complaining about hills and holes, which could create some horrid hops or injuries.

  • In my only tangent, I have to mention this story. Inter Milan coach was caught talking mafia business with a convicted murderer and suspected drug dealer. Maybe some shady business will influence matters.

Now you're fully informed and can enjoy this UCL final to the utmost.

And in classic TBG style, I leave you with an epic montage. Oh, and a prediction. 3-2 Chelsea in extra time.

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